First Kiss

Today she gave me my first kiss...ever...almost two years after we became mother and daughter.  It came as many of her "firsts" have...suddenly, unexpectedly, blink and you miss it.  It gave me hope for other "firsts" we have yet to see and hear.  Interestingly, she kissed my cheek while holding the little white dress her foster mother had her dressed in the day she became ours forever. Makes me wonder what she remembers...hopefully someday she will be able to tell me...another "first".  But today, she gave me my first kiss.

In Memoriam...Rushing Russia

Last night a beloved member of our family passed away.  Russia (a Russian hamster...thus the name!) was a part of our family for almost two years.  Russia "belonged" to Benjamin; she was his first real pet, aside from our family cats.  She was a spur of the moment purchase one evening as Benjamin and I were perusing Pet Smart, as she reminded me of my beloved childhood hamster, Hammy.  She was an albino, just like he was, and, like Hammy, she loved to climb the walls of her cage and try to cross the top upside down.  She earned her nickname, "Rushing Russia", because she loved to run on her wheel--and run through the house on her myriad escapee adventures!  She lived to the average age of hamsters, and in people years, was over 70 years old.  (That last piece of information, garnered from the internet, really seemed to put her death into perspective for Benjamin.)  We all loved little Russia, and she will be greatly missed.

Rest in peace, Rushing Russia!

You can read more about Russia on Benjamin's blog, where he wrote several posts about his special pet:

http://www.brilliantblogbyben.blogspot.com/2012/10/russia-update-in-captions.html

http://www.brilliantblogbyben.blogspot.com/2012/07/russias-demo.html

http://www.brilliantblogbyben.blogspot.com/2012/05/rushing-russia-update.html

http://www.brilliantblogbyben.blogspot.com/2011/12/russias-new-cage.html

http://www.brilliantblogbyben.blogspot.com/2011/10/russia.html

Happy 8th Birthday, Benjamin!

Dear Benjamin,

Today, on your 8th birthday, I wanted to tell you how special you are and how much you are loved.  You were our first miracle baby, a total surprise after we were told by many doctors that we would be unable to have biological children.  Every day you amaze us with your ingenuity, creativity, sincerity, and compassion for others.  Daddy and I pray that you will never lose that boyish enthusiasm for life or the compassionate servant's heart that God has given you.  Your goals for life right now include building churches around the world for missionaries to be able to share about Jesus, and building cities so that everyone can have a home to live in that is inexpensive to maintain.  You want everyone to have enough food and shelter.  Your heart amazes me.  I can't wait to see what God's plans for your life include!  I love that you still want to snuggle with your mama, and every once and awhile, you still pick up that dingy white favorite blankie and take it to bed with you.  You love your brothers and sister, and you enjoy helping around the house, especially with the laundry.  And you always remind me when I forget to give you your $2 allowance!  You enjoy ink pen drawing (you are constantly designing new cities!) and playing your weekend video game time.  But your most favorite activity would be building things, and this year, we hope to help you do more of that!

You are a special young man, and I love you so much.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, Benjamin, and He will direct your paths!

Love,

Mommy

Happy 18th Birthday, Jonathan!

Jonathan rarely allowed himself to be photographed,
thus the date on this one!

Today is our oldest son's 18th birthday.  When we first met Jonathan, he was 6 years old...almost 7.  My how time has flown by!  Jonathan is a senior in high school this year and doing well by all accounts.  He has taken up crocheting in his spare time, as well as reading and listening to music.

The following post was written on December 26. I didn't post it then, but for those who are interested, you can read it now.  It pertains to Jonathan.  It is entitled, "When Love is Not Enough".

Happy 18th Birthday, Jonathan...we miss you and love you very much!!

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I've been mulling over this post for quite some time now.  It's hard to put it into words, but I know someone, somewhere, needs to read this.  You see, sometimes, love just is not enough.

Yesterday was a happy day at our house, filled with love, joy, gifts, good food, and family.  Except for one.  You see, our oldest son, who turns 18 in just a few short days, will not be in any of our Christmas pictures this year.  He does not live with us right now, and hasn't for over three months. The reality is, he may never live with us again, but most certainly not for at least a year.  Out of respect for his privacy, I won't go into detail here about the why, but he is in a residential treatment program.  Prior to that, he spent three weeks in juvenile detention.  Prior to that, he and his choices wrecked havoc on our family for 9 months of 2012.  Harsh?  Maybe, but it's the truth.

What's also true is that I love my son very much.  He became a part of our family when he was six years old.  For almost 11 years we loved him and taught him and guided him and loved him some more.  But it wasn't enough.  It wasn't enough to break the hold his past has on his heart and spirit.  We don't know exactly what has a hold on him, but we know he and his biological brother are what are called in the adoption world, "wounded children".  There are many books written on how to "love the wounded child" and "parent the wounded child".  But sometimes, love is not enough.

We went to visit our son yesterday with my parents, his grandparents.  We drove 45 minutes one way to the facility only to be "refused" by our son.  He has rights, too, you know, and his refusal to have contact with us is his trump card right now.  But we wanted him to know that we loved him, and so we made the trip anyway, in hopes that maybe, he would change his mind.  But he didn't.  And it was hard.  Very hard.  For sometimes, love is not enough.

Where am I going with this post?  I don't know.  Except to say that adoption and parenting, and especially adoption parenting, is tough.  Sometimes, really tough.  But even if our son chooses to never see us again, I believe that he was placed in our lives for a reason.  I also believe that we have loved him the best way that we knew how, and it was our love that pushed for him to have this one last chance before "adulthood" to get help for his wounded heart.  Will he understand that one day?  I hope so.  But for now, we face the reality that sometimes, our love is not enough.

But we pray that, someday, our son WILL recognize that GOD'S LOVE is ALWAYS enough.

My Little Angel

Last Sunday, Sophia's class made these really neat angel wings out of paper plates.  They actually have elastics where the arms go through so they can be worn for dressing up.  Of course, Sophia wasn't really into them at all, but Nathaniel was!  He wanted to try them on right away, so I took some photos by our Christmas tree of our little angel.  Enjoy!

I just can't get enough of those baby blues!!

Flying...

My little angel!

Happy 5th Birthday, Sophia!

Our beautiful Taiwanese princess turns 5 years old today!  We are so proud of all of her accomplishments in the past year.  She started school almost a year ago, and loves it!  She has made progress with the use of her right hand and arm after two rounds of botox and occupational therapy.  She is making more and more vocalizations which every now and then approximate words.  She is even "singing" at times, which we love to hear, and she has recently started Music Therapy which she really enjoys.  She loves her Sunday School and Word of Life classes at church, and her favorite toys are her baby dolls and her grocery cart--which she pushes through the house at breakneck speeds!  Sophia brings us much joy and we can't wait to see what next year brings!

What's Missing?

First tooth...lost at five years of age (with a little help from his big brother!)